Homophobic Will Smith Gives A Backhand

The renowned actor known for his Men in Black (MiB) Hollywood hit was yesterday appalled by Ukrainian television channel 1+1 reporter, Vitalii Sediuk who apparently tried to kiss him while on the red carpet MiB premiere in Moscow.

The reporter was dressed in a charming white suit like a male-bride would on his/her wedding day and motioned for a hug from Will Smith, which he graciously consented to. Obviously the hug was just a prequel to the reporter’s hidden agenda as he immediately tried to catch the star’s lips in a mouldering kiss!

It is unclear what Sediuk hoped to achieve, (a gay fantasy with the Bel-Air prince maybe) but what he really got was a light but assertive back-hand from Smith. Sediuk seemed quite perplexed as though the star had overreacted when all he wanted was a ‘red carpet moment’ with him.

A few seconds later Smith stated with a jovial temperament that Sediuk was lucky he didn’t sucker-punch him.

This same reporter had a run-in with Madonna in September when he presented her with a bouquet of purple hydrangeas, referring to Madonna as “my princess.” Little did he know that she detested the flora and she more than stated this when she clearly rebuffed him on that occasion.

It is clear the reporter yet again failed to do his homework on the likes and dislikes of his celebrity crushes. Who knows, he may act the fool again sooner than later. It’s good though, to know Will Smith is on the side of the un-queer. I do hope it wasn’t just eye-service for the red carpet.

TAKING ANOTHER ONE FOR THE TEAM

The Nigerian people are no doubt a resilient bunch of survivors and we have done well to show this time and again in enduring series of dire measures meted upon us by our leaders, not just in this political dispensation but as long as we care to remember. Apparently history must be copiously iterated and we must continuously find a way to ‘break the surface’. Seems to me that the proverbial saying that we are profoundly established in the art (and act) of “suffering and smiling” has stuck with us for good, even more so after it was sonorously delivered by the apolitical afro-beat legend and prolific government critic Fela Anikulapo Kuti in one of his songs. Nothing can be more intrinsic in the human nature than the ability to adapt to the toughest of circumstances in a bid to survive and we Nigerians are so blessed in harnessing that ability when the need arises, be it outside of our own motherland; in the face of discrimination, malicious degradation and the most unfavourable physical and environmental conditions or at home where we are constantly victimised by our leaders; superimposed on us by politically corrupt manipulations or self-inflicted by nepotistic choices we are gullibly guided to make. 

It would be safe to say that since before the 19^th century to the mid-20^th century the survival instinct of man could be properly classified as a ‘black thing’, a dark memorial of who we were, are and have become, yet colourful as an aspect of our negritude. But here we are in the 21^st century, decades away from brazen dehumanization of the African continent, and Nigeria, being the purported giants of Africa, 160 million strong in citizenry rewrites her history in the blood and sweat of millions of toiling souls, surrounded by ample natural resources which they have no control over, now redefining what was once a ‘black thing’ to be a ‘Nigerian thing’!

It is an exemplary paradox that a country like ours, blessed with so much from natural resources to human capacity can also be jinxed with developmental retrogression. Even 52 years after basking in the discovery of our staggering wealth, more than half of the population is still swimming in penury, most yet unaware of the possibility of a basic standard of living far beyond their hopes and dreams, which should accrue to them by virtue of their citizenship rather than by merit.

Ignorance, they say is bliss. Well, in this case there can be no bliss for the common man if he chooses a life of mediocrity, subconsciously refusing to know more of how he is being ruled and instead opting for a dedication of self to a lifetime of struggles in a rat race whose finish-line is the gate of a cemetery. Depressingly shocking it was to me when earlier this year on engaging some supposedly enlightened compatriots on the issue of the subsidy removal which almost saw our dear nation on the brink of anarchy, more than a few blatantly exercised a monumental level of distorted reasoning especially regarding its ill-timing. Even more shocking was their unhinged advocacy for the palliative measures proposed by the government to cushion the effect of the subsidy removal. Four months since the implementation of these palliatives, can anyone rightly state without bias that the effects of the subsidy removal were cushioned, even if like our dear President, that person is stuffed full to the brim with cassava bread and consequently suffers mental impairment?

We all know that what has occurred is only a ‘survival adjustment’ of the people to a new level of hardship since salaries didn’t increase, jobs were not created, the power sector didn’t improve, deflation of the economy did not occur...as a matter of fact, things regressed geometrically- the implementation of the new minimum wage still remains an issue in many states, the prices of goods and services in all spheres were at least doubled, the spate of terrorism has become an issue of national security, cases of graft has never been more rampant and the power sector has been as stagnant as a cesspool of putrid water ideal for breeding healthy mosquitoes!

Apparently, the government of President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan assumed the people he had vowed to ‘serve’ deserved more. Hence we got served on the first day of 2012 by our dear President with a breath of ‘fresh air’ when it was announced that the pump price of fuel had been pegged at N141/litre from N65/litre. As I now understand it, those who willfully left the comfort of their houses on the aegis of the Save Nigeria Group to occupy Nigeria really came out to sniff as much of the ‘fresh air’ only to go back to their deoxygenated dwellings when they had had their fill (or should I say when the government thought the people had had enough of the ‘fresh air’).

According to the President, the people of Nigeria were required to ‘take one for the team’ by enduring the effects of the subsidy removal while looking at the long term benefits it would bring. In his ever-piercing words he said, “It is a sacrifice Nigerians must be willing to make to save our perishing economy.” So at the end of the day, by draconian means and closed door enticements our wings were clipped and a compromise was made. Win/win some might say, but alas; it is only the voice of adaptation whispering deception. For by 1^st of June, six months after the subsidy removal, the people will again be asked to take another one for the team, to again ‘inhale‘ the fresh air of the GEJ-lead government by accepting with enduring faith the increment in electricity tariffs so as to encourage investors to see the industry for what it is; a gold mine waiting to be explored and exploited, another pillaging scam the people must finance for our collective good, the good of the industry and the good of our dear nation Nigeria.
 
In Addendum...
Just a few days ago, (as a palliative I would assume) the ever-bamboozling President 'launched' energy-saving bulbs into the Nigerian market! Isn't that just wonderful!!! How lucky we are to have a President who is concerned about our power consumption, so much so that a 'feat' as trivial as introducing energy-saving bulbs into the Nigerian market could not be delegated to the Power Minister! Well, for those who do not already know it, these energy-saving bulbs have been in the Nigerian market long before now. The bone of contention as regards this 'cutting-edge achievement' by the President is how power-saving bulbs will increase the power production and ensure regular supply. I am tempted to ponder on the scientific logic of improving the quality of electricity supply by utilizing these bulbs...only I already know the result of such reckless mental exertion. Then again, I remember these bulbs have been here long before now and it didn't make that magic happen all that time, so why now?

What a metaphorical contradiction that a political party well known for its mantra of 'power to the people' really has no plans to give Power to the people! It's still very vivid, the baffling financial figures which was purportedly spent on the power sector during ex-President Obasanjo's tenure. Enough to rebuild whole cities from the ground up some might agree, yet nothing was achieved in the sector- a whooping $10 billion and nothing to show for it, not even on the short term! Now thinking about it, I wonder how Nigerians were so gullible to vote in another PDP member as the nation's leader in 2011. Oh, I remember...they didn't vote the party, they voted the individual!

Lastly, for all the nepotistic supporters of GEJ prior to his failures as a national leader, I have a simple question; "how fresh is the air around you"? But sadly, I might as well answer the question myself seeing how rhetorical it has become...since the unfortunate reality is that the rest of the anti-GEJ masses termed the minority are doomed to live by the dubious decision that the majority made. But in the spirit of sportsmanship, patriotism and unity, I hope we are wiser today than we were yesterday, for our level of political intelligence, collectively averaged will determine the future choices we make and ultimately the future of our dear nation, Nigeria.

Follow Ari ‘X’ Steve on twitter @iamXAri

GENDER FUSION-THE DUAL PERSPECTIVE

Gender uniqueness comes with it the distinct entities of both male and female. From the most obvious comparative measures to those of esoteric understanding it is clear that both sexes operate on different levels of substance. Hence, are we well on track when we presuppose that both entities are significantly complementary, one being dependent on the other for a wholesome existence?

From considerations of their distinct and unique body anatomy, basic intuition, style and taste, emotional display and caprices, the proclivity towards conflict of interest cannot be ignored as it simultaneously poses a question of the need to entertain a union of both entities as well as an acceptance of the possibility of incongruity of such a union.

Still, it may be that the law of science on the attraction of unlike poles has its finest example buttressed in the union of man and woman. This is not to say that like poles in this case do not attract. Actually this reality is an exception that is as glaring as the sun burning on a medieval slave’s back. But In this particular topic of discussion I beg your indulgence for ignoring all exceptions for I consider them to be boundless extremities that only serve to complicate already difficult matters.

The issue here is since we find that the union of man and woman is an undeniable force of nature that must be entertained, wherein lies the solutions to the imminent ills that must plague this union? Also of pertinent interest is the issue of the side that most profoundly instigates these ills.

All facts considered, the woman holds the key to the stability hoped for in a union. The manifestation of such ills that trouble a union of both entities is solely dependent on her willingness to use her “resource key” to the benefit of the union…If you agree with that right there then I just had you! On the real, all facts considered, the stability hoped for is but a Piper’s dream and in considering the possibility of congruence in this union as in any other, role playing of both parties involved is as important as the union itself. Hence, the stability of the union is an equal priority issue requiring equal resource pooling by both parties.

Here is one paradigm to consider;

It’s an indubitable fact that it is a man’s world. Beyond the ubiquitous standards of common existence that embraces this verity, the Christian religion (and indeed a number of others) assert that everything was made to be subject to man, even more so his woman. Hence, man holds an ultimate veto (so to speak), leaving women at the mercies of his kind graces. To this end, that a union of both genders be sustained and blossoms depends on the willingness of the woman to accept this divine logic. It then becomes a woman’s place by default to support and indulge a man’s basic character. This paradigm of male superiority presupposes that he would hardly accept her excesses which may tend towards exercising the same prerogatives his veto allows for. Where he indulges her excesses, it breeds laxity, disregard and nonchalance towards his role in the union. This undermines his essence and limits the intent of the woman’s virtues where she has any.

Consider a second paradigm that may spring from a female perspective;

Yes, it may be on point to assume that a woman ought to be “subject” to a man in the union. Howbeit, this depends on the margins of definition annotated to the verb-subject. If we can agree that the congruence and continuity of a union of both genders can be sustained only by role playing and resource pooling having equal priority to both parties involved, the integrity of each persona must be maintained. To ensure this, one way may be (for the male) to accept that women, also being human, also possess idiosyncratic tendencies which must also be entertained as much as their counterpart’s, even where they may be considered excesses. Another way would be for the man, aware of his partner’s subservience, to exercise a fair level of restraint in pursuing his whims, especially where it can hurt the stability of the union. He must out of respect for her and the union itself limit his words, thoughts and actions to all that promotes an interdependent and synergistic co-existence. To this end, the dignity of the woman will be maintained as will the integrity of the man (even at the expense of his ego). After all, the modern world has also seen women excel in all endeavors where men have thrived, even in the face of malicious bias, grudgingly muted by the success of their prolific antecedents.

At the end of the day, by positioning at the midpoint of both ends of the stick of these distinct perspectives, as I see it, the only fair and objective option to consider is that of CHOICE. What recourse taken towards maintaining the stability of a union should be to allow both parties, regardless of superiority preference to decide what paradigm to submit to. But then we realize that the decision of what paradigm to submit to is actually a question of whether the woman is willing to accept the excesses of a man’s basic character and still maintain her dignity by ignoring her own tendencies. That being said, the success or failure of a union becomes more of a woman’s decision, though unconsciously. Need I mention here that where “true love” is present (assuming it does exist), both paradigms are unified by virtue of true love’s selflessness. Still, it boils down to choice. But the choice of who plays a more active role in defining the appropriate paradigm to assume naturally falls on the woman, giving her an undue advantage which automatically evens out the advantage of the man bordering on superiority.

VISCOUS SERENITY

…It all began with a little bit of an overboard eruption of anger and frustration germinating from years of controlled tolerance in a world of constant perils.

I sat by the computer one evening after a tiring day at work just idly perusing my documents for anything of interest in a therapeutic sort of way. In the background was the sound of this almost angel-demonic banshee-like voice of a “succubus” with a really sonorous feel to it. It almost sounded like the soundtrack to a horror flick and felt almost same considering the cold and near-dark ambiance the room carried at the time. In an instance I began to see my life play before my eyes in total exactness. Why was I feeling so low? Who or what was really responsible when it came down to it? So many questions; insufficient answers were all the compensation I got for them all. That’s when I decided to write a book about my personal experience in this world of viscous serenity…
Sometime in 2008

29/01/2010; 6:09AM
Almost two years later, I stumble on this incomplete script I attempted to write in my darkest moments of melancholy. And I wonder why I never saw it to completion. Not even a complete page of manuscript! In the last year that passed me by, my mind has been very active, pondering on this and that, shoving experiences, words and deeds in a special place where I could easily scoop from the wealth accumulated and build a fine story…but alas! When the time to write was at hand, I scooped and scooped but all I recovered was the emptiness of an archive once inundated with issues but now void, not by absence of those issues but rather by a clutter of even more compounding issues that makes a mess of everything, words that don’t make more sense than a baby talking gibberish. So I wrote this instead, in an attempt to forgive myself for the forgetfulness, the nonchalance, loss of creativity…not for your entertainment as you thought! But then again I wonder the real reason I never did continue with my manuscript. In the first place, it was inspired by my troubles. Then maybe I should be thankful I never did, for my troubles lost me in inspiration, which is a good thing, no?

So maybe I should never complain when I lose my inspiration to write, for I might have lost some gloom alongside. What a beautiful irony!

POESY; A Sucker’s Outlet?

Wherein lies my freedom to express my emotions with as much intensity as I could never find possible in reality but by poetry? How may I display tender affections without the risk of effeminacy, still proudly positioning myself as the alpha male but by poetry? Is this poetry which I constantly indulge a way of giving life to emotions I know I could never truly feel, or is it rather my escapist philosophy for the emotions which I feel but have never felt so comfortable as to express it “eye to eye” towards the inspiring figure for fear of losing my poise as a force void of the distortions of emotions?

Poetry is my soul food. It is the fortress of my thoughts. It is inspired by love; love for life, love for art and science, love for literature and of course the love for affection. Still, it finds inspiration in the sorrows of what is hoped for and yet stays unfulfilled. I even dare say that more poetry has been inspired by a constant dissatisfaction of looming desires than by the fulfillment of having that which is craved for.

Why then is poetry the key to the rusted locks and shackles of hearts of stone? Why does it do justice to broken hearts where hope feels hopelessness? Why does it keep the mind fixated on the nakedness of vulnerability, while indulging a piper’s dream? By what peculiar science of chemistry does it glue broken hearts back together, even in the face of imminent disaster?

I know so little of poetry, besides its power of therapy. I think, I write, I feel, I scribble, I validate, I note; and at the close of the day, I call it poetry. Many love I have lost, by no fault of the fair ladies, for they were mostly good, loving, passionate, kind and fair. Yet, by some Mephistophelean gift, I saw the prophesy of an end, even before the beginning. But never with poetry, for it was a world of solace, bound by my creation. It was place of endless romance, blissful from the beginning, and having no end. It was my fools’ paradise, the Utopia for a ferociously loving heart. It was my outlet, for true passion in reality always seemed to evade me by my own devise. I was always a sucker by self-destruct, letting the prime visitors of jealously, subservience, selfishness, superiority and lust eat up my meal of true love. My only savior was my poetry; my sucker outlet!

January 12 at 10:52pm

A SEED FOR THE EMPTINESS

It’s a funny thing, these endless scuffles we allow ourselves get into, sometimes against ourselves. The burden of life is to blame for our indulgence as we entertain its troubles as a means of justifying our excesses, then we vent on those who we ought to share tender moments with because we feel it’s only right then understand. They are our outlet, and we expect them to entertain our complexities. Well, if they don’t, it’s just too bad because there’s just so may we could find like them! But is this really a fact? I have no clue. What I do know is we constantly get shot in the foot when we do this. No one welcomes a hermit’s life on purpose. Mostly, it’s a function of not getting what we hope for. But where the heck do we even get off giving up the search?! It’s all in the American dream; the pursuit for happiness…oops! But I’m Nigerian and have no clue what the American dream is all about. Ok then, why don’t I just build the orientation in my mind of the Nigerian dream? Oh, I remember…we have no dream! We live, we wallow helplessly in what we get, we stay fixated in the myopia of convoluted vanities, and ultimately lose sight of what we are.

Whoever knew what we are (or were)? Who could convince me otherwise, against my frozen opinions? And who the hell said I care even about my opinion? Truth is opinions to me are fluid, a pragmatic kaleidoscope of my cognitive reasons of the assertions of others. Hence, I don’t consider myself a creator. Maybe a critic, maybe an opinion rapist, maybe even a hypocrite. But it’s all same, aint it?

What matter I do know of I speak confidently, still it’s just a point of view. Mostly it stands out on its own, glaring and open to ambiguity. In the clouds of thoughts that precipitate in my deepest consciousness, I recognize reason, I personalize it and create a philosophy of logical faith with a flexible backbone. Reason with me, doubt my logic, insult my inspiration, laud my finesse, it still remains a ghost of words that even I can’t comprehend. But at the end of the day, let me freely express myself in a way I feel comfortable. My words may be inclined to emptiness in your faculties, but so are the lives of so many. Emptiness is a word where many find common ground. It is success stumbled upon. Now compare (my) words and (a) life. It seems to me they stand firmly at both ends of a stick. But sure if you stand unbiased, the midpoint of such comparison is not so much of a fiction. So entertain your emptiness, for they are your stray vanities whose proclivities only serve to tell more of who you really are.

I may hardly be a writer, but I pull plugs nonetheless. I mostly find my ignorance a source of peculiar intelligence. The little I know has led me to the assumption of what I don’t. Scribbling down is to me the best fruition for my intuition, for now you are reading this and you know what I feel. I have thoughts about almost everything; relationships, philosophy, poesy, morality (and the obvious lack of it), violence, scriptures and religion, personality, effectiveness, principles, power, sin, rapture and the imminent end. Some of these I share freely, others I keep to myself. Not that I care for the grievances my opinions may fester if they be radical, rather it’s more of it being my prerogative to share. But at the end of the day, when you misconstrue my meaning, or my intention, just remember this; they are just words on a page, as empty as the presence of ghosts, yet vivid to the memory of he who sees the apparition, akin to my words creeping in your subconscious in search for reason. Ultimately, this is the seed I plant in your mind to afforest the void you may well possess.

A FREE MIND’S TRAIN OF THOUGHTS

My life is brilliant; I don’t give a hoot about yours. There's a lot I'm yet to experience, yet I've seen plenty already. Life is a flytrap, and we all get caught in sometimes. So when I take advantage of your excesses, indulge my quest for fulfillment for it may well be to your satisfaction. But if it does not serve to your advantage, I guess it’s my bad; everyone has got to be a sucker for someone sometime.

What is not known to be a lie is the truth till it is known to be a lie. But truth is relative, for it is a symbol of our individually unique perspective. As our individualities differ, so does our perspective. Hence, what I consider to be truth may well be your excuse for a compromise, worse still a fallacy to your innate sense of reason.

But who cares? Nobody really gives a shit! You think they do, misinterpreting good intentions for what it is not. They want to care, to love and to share, and hold your hand like they will always be there…believe it, and you will believe anything!

But there comes a time in your life when, overwhelmed by yourself and what burden you bear on this world, you begin to perceive the verity that everything besides your own existence is but a hovering shadow, every loving action geared in your direction is but a whisper of advice, a subtle drive of positive propagation, and you alone are the perfect light made to brighten your world, eliminating those shadows to reveal the essence of every living being, once silhouetted by the mysteries of their active minds, but now existing only as a unique piece of divine “tile” searching for its perfect position in the scheme of things, waiting to be dominoed into eternity; the Ideal.